Friday, July 12, 2013
Most of the blurbs that I posted are about my artwork but since my blog is called. Remrov's Autistic Artblurbs I will also post blurbs about my autism every now and then. Autism is what I have been born with and even though I have learned a lot and things have become easier since when I was little, my autism will always be there and I’m quite aware of it also.
A few weeks ago I was at the jazz festival here in Montreal. I was looking forward to go there because it's cool. There's nice music, the weather is nice and people are in a good mood. Sometimes when I'm looking foreward to something I even forget my autism but it will always hit me right in the face when we arrive where we are going.
It was extremely crowdy which is always difficult for me. Some people think that autistics are shut off from everything but actually it's the exact opposite, everything comes in. For example when I'm sitting in a classroom I don't just hear the teacher talking but also students wispering in the back of the classroom, the teacher talking in the classroom next to ours, cars outside, student on the schoolyard, bikers, a dog barking, somebody sweeping his sidewalk. I hear everything, and everything comes in just as loud as everything else, and in this case it's extremely difficult to filter the teacher's voice out of all those other noises. So you might be able to imagine that a visit to the jazzfestival is not as fun and relaxing for an autistic person at all. Besides the extremely loud music which is even painful for my ears, I hear all the people talking. lauging, singing, I hear their footsteps, I hear the water splashing of the fountains, I hear kids laughing and shouting, I hear the wind, and these are just the sounds. There’s many other kind of information that comes in also, like the sight of all these people and the musicians. Every tiny detail comes in. All these impressions together make me so tired that I can’t stay there for a long time. And actually, that quite hurts. Everybody is having fun, and I’m just walking around so tensed that it’s extremely difficult to enjoy it. In situations like this I really notice that I’m different.
For more information about my autism, you can go to my website Remrov's Autism